Out in the dark

I'm making a very last minute decision to go see the UK Subs tonight to make up for my shitty work day. It's last minute because I forgot about the show...this is what happens when you lose your day planner. Thank god for little ninja.

I've been getting back into the blogosphere lately, found some entertaining ones to read and I just may be inspired enough to update more regularly. I've been saying that for the last two years and it hasn't happened yet though.

It's fall and all I want to do is go apple picking and do crafty things. J and D are in Texas for the KAN meet up but I'm hoping to talk them into a JRAC trip to Quinn Farm for some drunken orchard debauchery.

I desperately want to head up to Darryl's new place this weekend with Ellen, get drunk, fall down in the woods (and not slice my face open, ahem) and talk about Martha Stewart.

Current Music: UK Subs and A Global Threat

some things, and people, really get under my skin.

i'm a sucker for a "fuck you" attitude.

and that +44 song. yeah that's right, laugh it up.

This is a write-off.

Goodbye, I'll genuinely miss you.
Sometimes I wonder why people enter my life if they are only going to have to leave so soon. Down with Australia, down with law school, down with breaking up team awesome. See you in 2 years.

I write in my paper journal a lot, never here. Mostly because camp wears me out and my paper journal is beside my bed, staring at me with big guilty eyes.

I LOVE CAMP!
that is all.

it's the little things that kill tearing at my brains again

once upon a time we were all very young and silly and scribbled things like "Gavin Rossdale is a god" on our notebooks in la classe de Francais. and there was a boy who looked quite like him and he was on the bus that parked next to mine. i hear he's still beautiful, only he takes photographs now making him even more so.

human sick catching net thing

it's friday night and i'm lying bed, sick. thank you dear student for sharing your cold with me. my head is so stuffed i can't see straight.
this will not stop me from partying tomorrow night. i know that jager can save my soul.
i'm pondering neocitrin. but it feels wrong to drink it in warm weather. i'm strange like that.
i haven't watched tv in over a month and apparently mtv doesn't change programming very often. lame. looks like i'll be pulling out "live in orange county" again.
exactly one month until camp. i am stooooooooked. summer 2007 will be the sickest.
the girls of summer will reunite for 3 months straight. i will spend more time with matty and christine. i will have more kev+linds days. i will bring the homies out to huddy for bbqs and psycho pool parties. maybe we'll get covered in fake blood along the way.
ok, i give in. its neo time.


Current Mood: sick
Current Music: crappy mtv

If you're after getting the honey - hey, Then you don't go killing all the bees

lying there listening to the sound of the rain coming through the window
he's playing guitar, sad songs we hold in our hearts
a little piece of heaven on earth
we're clinging to a generation we were never a part of
there's more meaning in the past
things just aren't the same.

Current Mood: appreciative
Current Music: joe strummer and the mescaleros

Ketchup

The skinheads were back last weekend. It was Angus's birthday and the sisters were tending bar so we got just drunk enough to be obnoxious. It was messy and delightful. We danced directly in front of the skins. I now know that I do not want to get involved with the one i think is cute. I was told he got Hannah drunk just to bang her, aka not my type. I like to think we hang out with a classier crowd when it comes to that stuff, because within these little subcultures everyone knows everyone. But we are just like everyone else.

It's after 3 on what is now Saturday morning. ordinarily I'd be arriving home from whatever was going on but i have spent the last 24 hours on my parent's couch, continuing to be ill. it's been 4 months and I've had no relief. I'll likely go for another xray next week, this time sinus. i don't want to do a third round of antibiotics. i don't want the plague to claim me when it comes because my body is immune to meds. these are the things that worry me sometimes. but for now I've just found The Wedge which i haven't watched in years and they are playing a Postal Service video and so everything is right with the world. and now, The Bicycles.
"Montreal's appealing but i need the real thing, Paris oh Paris be mine"
catchy, i think I'll look them up. Without my glasses on, one of the guys from Kings Of Leon looks like Teddy Suss.

Why am I inspired to blog now? at 3am, when I'm sick and should be sleeping? I just finished reading the entire blog of an old friend. It read like a book written by/about someone i have never known. someone i was never close to, never had things in common with, never knew. we reside in the same city. we are part of two very different worlds. but she is successful and beautiful and witty and I'm happy and grateful for that. she's never had it easy and she deserves it.

sigur ros's "untitled" is the last thing that needs to come on as i sit here and realize it's April 7th already. it's Matty's birthday and we are currently not really speaking. this video will disturb me to the end of time. i posted it on here about a million years ago. notice how quickly i distract myself with the video rather than think about Matt. i hope we solve things soon. i feel awful for having Christine in the middle.

i just read that Elissa hung out with Mike today and this makes me miss him and feel a little sad. June is too far away. if it even happens.

when i am healthy i will be less of a downer. I'll be back to me.

ninja please!


Current Mood: oh, you know
Current Music: various band on The Wedge

i have a lot to learn

...such as how to be nicer to people rather than being a straight up bitch and judging on first impressions. cause sometimes those first impressions are wrong and i later regret being so harsh.

and on another note as far as the R situation, its hard to tell whether or not he saw us at the bar the other weekend and avoided us or he just plain missed us. the thing is, and this is going to sound rediculously stuck up but its not meant in a stuck up way, but you really can't fucking miss us. i mean come on. so don't go around avoiding us just cause i wasn't on the same page. lynds didn't have anything to do with it so why isn't he talking to her? lame lame lame.

Current Mood: blech
Current Music: stiff little fingers

fuckin around with myheritage.com

in other news my favorite dinner ever is garlic hummus and a baguette. if only i had some taboulleh salad. need a trip to adonis asap.

Current Mood: meh
Current Music: lower class brats

you smell like bananas!

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh last night was first class weird.
Started off at Hannah and Angus's. Everyone was kind of in an ugh mood, you could tell it was gonna be an odd one. Our little gang left the house and met up with more people on the bus and headed off to what appeard to be an illegal venue (i love illegal venues) that looked like someone's living room. it packed up quick. Matty and Christine came so that was awesome. The west island kids came down cause it was a Marshall Law show so that was awesome. Love those peoples. I brought my baby out for the first time to a show and it didn't get destroyed (only a couple of close calls).
Went to Jupiter Room after and it got stranger, I won't get into details. I will however mention the skinheads showing up and Lyndsey becoming a giggley little girl again. One of them was really hot and I checked him out all night. I didn't try to start anything though cause, well, do I really wanna get involved with a skinhead? Not so sure if I need that trouble in my life.
Everyone was out and when I say everyone I pretty much mean everyone. The place was "jumpin" which kinda sucked cause it was hard to have conversations with my girls but we just did a lot of shimmying and shaking instead. Saw many people, was molested by many people. And apparently Steve likes to watch me grocery shop but not say hi?
Lyndsey and I fucked off to Fameaux cause we refused to eat at The Main with everyone else, it sucked last weekend and the waitress was insane. So we went and had a good long girls chat about all the strange gossipy events of the evening, there were many.
If Jupiter is always going to be so weird, I'm so not going that often.
I miss Playhouse!
Time to edit photos and wait for Lynds to wake up so we can shoe shop, oh yes.

Current Mood: wtf
Current Music: watching Back in...1985 haha

would you go along with someone like me?

i feel like shit this morning. i didn't even really party last night. went to pj's after work with the john grant/gs crowd but didn't get drunk or nothing.
slept awful. i'm ill again my head is killing me.
dreamed about someone from the past....weird as always. guess it's that time of year to have a relapse.
will the unfinished business on my end ever be settled? who knows.
must throw self in shower, i have so much to do today its rediculous.
but it ends with seeing Marshall Law play so it's all good.
i adore marshall law to a dangerous degree.

Current Mood: blah and sicky
Current Music: none, half watching hogan's heroes

Harrowdown Hill

Today, my favorite person is Danielle.
For obvious reasons.

Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: NME compilation

we could stick around and see this night through

I'm so veryily obsessed with "Young Folks", to a dangerous degree.
It's been awhile since I've heard indie that got me really overly excited.
And it's been, let's see never since I met someone who is as musically fucked as I am....oh Danielle how I love you! Her love for Hasil Adkins and The Brains is equivalent to her love her Bloc Party and TV on the Radio....
we were clearly seperated at birth...7 years apart. haha

I love fashion. I mostly love fashion that matches the genre of music it's attached to. It explains why I dress in a zillion ways. When I listen to Bloc Party, I want to slap on a pair of tights and a mini dress. When I listen to Clit 45 it's all about my leather jacket and a band shirt.
and that's all for now cause someone needs the computer....blah.


Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: Peter Bjorn and John

this is a round up, this is a low flying panic attack

where did january go?
pseudo-insomnia sucks.
i work way too much but i'm hoping to come out better for it.
winter is shit. its too cold to move.
i was so cold and tired and generally lazy like that i went to st. laz on friday night and didn't return until i had to work this morning. the original plan was to come back in town for derek's show saturday night but i just couldn't move. i need a vacation, and its only february.
i'm exhausted but its almost like i'm avoiding sleep. i'm puttering. i set up my coffemaker, if all goes well i'll wake up to the smell of fresh coffee at 6:15. if all does not go well, the thing might catch fire and i may never post again. we'll see what happens. there is a quirky little movie on tv called "Hank Willams First Nation" and i really wish i could concentrate on it cause i think it might be interesting/amusing.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: watchin tv not really

"oh my, she lives a retro life!"

I've been meaning to document my day to day. Unfortunately I've been too busy. But I'll try. To sum up the last week:
Friday-got wasted with Lynds and went to meet up with Hannah, etc. at Bloodshot/Cockroaches show. There was some dumb bitches there and Jessie got into a fight with some random guy so it was general good times. Called it a night fairly early (3am)
Saturday-went to see Adam's band with Matt, Christine and Lynds. I had an inkling of his talent but was completely blown away, especially by his voice. Oh Adam! People For Audio, check them out. After this it was on to Rockette for an excessive amount of jagermeister and rediculous slut dancing. Danced with Kit, he was being too drunkenly funny. Lynds did a lot of slumping against the wall. We hit the diner after they kicked us out of the bar and laughed for a good hour. I heart jagger.
Sunday, headed to the parents place early, spent the night there.
Monday, got a ride all the way into the city to work. can't remember what i did after work...
Tuesday, work and then Atomic
Wednesday, work then fabric shopping with Lynds Christine and Hannah. Hannah and Lynds and I went to Angus's after, Hannah cooked dinner and we proceeded to get way to drunk for a Wednesday night and played board games like the champions that we are.
today, work and then had my first visit with the new private work i'm taking on. it's with a student i worked closely with last year whom i adore. should be good experience for me, hopefully i can help this student out! and c'est tout.
so far this year is off to a crazy busy start.
and now i have some new patterns to cut out.


Current Mood: scheme-y
Current Music: nothin, watchin the OC

but we are so very old my friend

the indie girls will eat him alive. motherfucking hipster ass toronto cool shit.


on another note goodbye parties suck ass. saying goodbye to adam sucks even more ass. granted i'll see him next weekend (likely) and around (hopefully) but it wont be the same. who will hold the seams together on rough days at work? one look from adam holds more words than any picture i'll ever take. and, yeah.

this year i will blog again. i hope. cause my memory is worse than ever.



Current Mood: iffy
Current Music: caroline keating

2006 in review

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Went to a rockabilly weekender, had a completely amazing summer.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn’t make any! Not sure about next year, I’ll just keep working on myself.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Must have been this year my second cousin Gareth was born.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year thank goodness.

5. What countries did you visit?
Didn’t leave the country this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
It wouldn’t be so bad to have a decent guy around casually, but decent men are hard to find these days.

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 30th, Matt and Christine finally got married! And then August 29th,30th, 31st, and December 9th, getting to meet my heroes in Rancid.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Too many, meeting Rancid, graduation, getting a full time job I love, any photos I was happy with, etc.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Didn’t really have any this year, I’m sure karma will pay me back next year! haha

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
It was another sick year, the worst was end of November to end of December, sick for a month with bronchitis and asthma.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Nikon D70s, oh baby. And all my clothes from Atomic!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
All the friends who stuck by me this year, and the new solid friends I’ve made. Especially my Summer Girls. This year was completely amazing and it wouldn’t have been the same without you!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I promised I wouldn’t bother him about it anymore, he knows who he is.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Boutique Atomic, Playhouse, concert tickets, the Rancid merch booth, the sushi place near work

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Everyday spent with my girls. Matt and Christine’s wedding. Red Hot & Blue rockabilly weekender. Every concert!

16. what song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
Journey To The End Of The East Bay - Rancid
Viva La Revolution - The Adicts
The Funeral - Band of Horses
Red Hot - Billy Lee Riley
Two More Years (MSTRKRFT remix) - Bloc Party
Our Hell - Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton
No Thief - The Guest Bedroom
When You Were Young - The Killers
Radio Havana - Rancid
Crack Rock Steady - Leftover Crack
In The Valley - The Lovely Feathers
Isle of Yew - Meligrove Band
Ghoulina - Nekromantix
Psycho Ball n Chain - The Creepshow
With A Bullet - Sam Roberts
Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge
Alternative Ulster - Stiff Little Fingers
Rose of the Devil’s Garden - Tiger Army
Hold On - Tim Armstrong
Backseat Of My Heart - Bloodshot Bill
Room 109 - Slim Sandy
Knowledge - Operation Ivy
Money - Choking Victim
Sexy and Seventeen - Stray Cats
Dick in Dixie - Hank III

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
Happier than ever!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I still think I could have done more partying, and maybe worked a little harder. More sleep would have been great but I’ll sleep when I’m dead, haha.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Smoke cigs. I’ve quit again, let’s hope it sticks.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas same as always, Dad’s side of the family on Christmas eve and Mom’s side on Christmas day.

20. How will you be spending New Years?
Should be heading to Heidi’s.

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Nope.

23. How many one-night stands? None! I’m just not that kind of gal.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
The O.C. yet again. I’m a sucker for it.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I’m sure there’s a few but I don’t really dwell on it.

26. What was the best book you read?
I started reading On The Road but I haven’t finished it (don’t hurt my Lynds I’m getting there!) It’s really good so far.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Our local psychobilly and rockabilly bands. Growing up in St. Lazare/Hudson I had no idea we had such a good scene.

28. What did you want and got?
Everything, haha. I wanted my new camera and I worked hard and paid that off. I wanted a sewing machine and I got one for Christmas. I wanted an amazing year and I got it!

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Thumbsucker was really good. An Inconvenient Truth scared the shit outta me. The Devil Wears Prada and John Tucker Must Die cracked us up to no end.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my actual 21st birthday I worked during the day which was fun cause I love my summer job. That evening a bunch of my girls (Kim, Kelly, Robyn, Fanny, Jodi) came over and surprised me with a cake they baked and decorated and we played with dollar store party favours and generally had fun. Then the next night a bunch of us hit playhouse for a night of drunken good times.

32. What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Just more good times with my friends, though there were many!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Same as usual, little bit of all things subcultural, lots of band shirts. And this summer I had my blonde zombie stripe that I miss a lot.

34. What kept you sane?
My friends, all the concerts, music music music.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
As always Mike Ness, Thom Yorke, and the Rancid guys. Meeting Rancid finally just topped it off.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Global warming politics man, its scary.

37. Who did you miss?
All those who've passed on in my family. And Mike, Toronto is too far away.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone, haha. I met so many crazy characters this year. I met Lyndsey this year and we’ve had many crazy times. Fuckin Hannah, makes me laugh so hard. Ashley, our band is amazing. Deuce, I just love him. Everyone I work with but especially Lynn, Angela and Christina. Ang and Christina are amazing and I love them both. And Lynn is the coolest mom I’ve ever met, I’m the topic of conversation quite often at her dinner table for some odd reason ;)


39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
It’s hard to live these days with the kind of standards I have, but I know I have to stick to them.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“Ya burn the candle at both ends till the end of the day
well it's better to burn out then to fade the fuck away”
-Leftover Crack

“I think that it’s brainless to assume that making changes
to your window's view will give a new perspective.”
-Death Cab For Cutie

“Daddy’s angel’s got a tarnished reputation
Ah, she don't care. She got punk rock aspirations…”
-The Adicts

“My love to you is true
A tattoo
That ain’t ever coming off
I'll wait for the truth hits you
I'll take a loss at any cost”
-Rancid

“Our hell is a good life.”
-Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton



Current Mood: hungover
Current Music: nothing

4 years

It's been four years, Gary. Four years since we've been able to BBQ together for the whole town. Since you gave me that silly penguin sticker (which i still have). Since you hid my cigarette for me when my mother showed up suddenly. Since you accidentally tried to drink in the TC the first night Donna came down to work. Since you talked to me about friends and friendship. Since you gave Megan those "vintage roach clips". Since you watched movies at the TC with us. Since we could run into you on the terrace at Strudel's. Since you got Amanda and I that job cleaning out the Chateau du Lac, with all that heavy furniture and the hauntedness for the garage sale. Since we "banned the bomb" at the parade and dressed like hippies in the freezing cold. Since we've all had the chance to hear one of your stories or see your smile. Since Max and Fanny have had their dad. Since Donna's had the love of her life. We miss you Gary. We miss you so much. See you someday xoxo.

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: nothing

zombie pick-up lines

14. You know that Cranberries song is about me.

13. What I'm really most attracted to in a woman is her brain.... brains....BRAINS!

12. Once rigor mortis sets in I can go *all* night!

11. Your grave or mine?

10. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven or was it when I ate your brains?

9. Nice eyes. Can I eat 'em?

8. What's a decomposing, maggot infested girl like you doing in a mausoleum like this?

7. Do you have any zombie in you? Would you like some?

6. So, do you come to this dark, deserted, haunted graveyard often?

5. I'm a walking stiff! I don't need Viagra!

4. I would give my right arm for a night with you. Here, take it!

3. I like your face. I'd like it even better crumpled on my bedroom floor in the morning.

2. Is that a wooden stake, or are you just happy to see me?

And the number one Zombie Pick-Up Line is...

1. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me and let me eat it?


Current Mood: sleepy and sick
Current Music: social d

The last of the true gentlemen

Ryan is incredible. He whipped back into our lives last night. Lynds ran into him Friday and he gave her his number. We hadn't seen him since the weekender.

He's something else. I could listen to him talk all night, even if it's about welding. He's passionate about every story he tells, and can command a crowd unlike anyone else I know. He has heart. We dragged him inside to the dancefloor and he taught me how to dance a bit. Just the initial basics, and it took me awhile but he was patient and we laughed the whole way through.

First bit of the evening was spent outside the katacombs with the west island punks. I went down to see Kevin and wound up spending time with Max and Pat and Harry and some strange girls. Kevin was slurring and wonderful.

We baked a cake and everyone laughed and ate and it was a lovely evening. We straggled in at 6am, leaving the cokeheads and strippers and greasers and friends behind us. Cheers to endless Saturday nights...

Current Mood: content
Current Music: tv buzzing

pretty much true

Lilly -- [adjective]: Banshee-like 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I am sick and tired and my money's always spent

Despite my wicked hangover I managed to buy groceries and do two loads of laundry. Glamorous i know.

And now for an old school blog:

This last week has absolutely done me in. It started Monday, I went to Kev's for the evening to chill and then it took me almost 2 hours to get back into the city. However it was worth it cause he and I never get to see each other. Tuesday was the big Halloween extraveganza with The Brains at Bar St. Laurent. I got loaded and took a zillion pictures of everyone (which seem to be floating around myspace) and it was the best Halloween ever. I've never been so groped by so many lovely zombie ladies on the dance floor! Wednesday was Death Cab For Cutie, they were fantastic. Really, really great live. Thursday was Sam Roberts, completely awesome as always.

Friday was the Misfits/Adicts show. However first I went out with the girls from work plus Lynds for drinks and free food at Winnie's aka the old folks home. I had the worst martini in the world then went to Kelly's and got ready for the Misfits. The Misfits were royally disappointing this year, but The Adicts got everyone going and it was great. Viva la revolution! Also Kev was there, and Mel who I haven't seen since last semester, and then the younger generation of the wasteland punks, Harry and Arthur and company. Kelly came home for the show and Shawna came with Chris and it was good times. Christina from Vanier found me in the dark somehow "Lilly is that you?! I don't wanna hug a stranger!" Kelly, Lyndsey and I stayed around after to hang out with Kev (who was as drunk as I'd ever seen him but in the best mood) and his girl and her friends then we left to go meet Maverick and David at Chaos.

Andrew found us in McDicks very mad at Mav who apparently told him to meet him at Chaos and then went to check out The Catacombs haha. I drank too much and started falling asleep at Chaos so I went back to Kelly's and we passed out. Next day we went to Adrenaline to get Kelly a new lip ring and we had a small lunch then she left to meet up with Kim, Robyn, and Allison. I headed to Atomic to see Matty and Christine for awhile then went home and waited for Lyndsey to show up with the booze. She only showed up at like 10 so we drank to fast and left for Playhouse.

We got a call on the way saying Playhouse was a bust and everyone was going to Rockette so we headed there instead. By the time I got in the door I was so wasted I almost couldn't see. Apprently all was well though cause we made Hannah's night with our drunken stupidity. I think Maverick and I had a deep conversation but I can't remember exactly, I just know I made a pile of ashes on the patio table outback. Someone put me in a taxi (Maverick?) and somehow I managed to get home and in the door and then proceeded to sleep until 2 in the afternoon. Yeeehaw!

This week I promise to stay quiet before my body gives out on me.


Current Mood: run down
Current Music: Choking Victim

i owe you guys

i have the best friends on the planet, once again.


Current Mood: picking up again
Current Music: stars

my hands will shake

This week is finally coming to an end. This godforsaken sorry excuse for a week. If it weren't for the stellar people in my life I'd never have made it through. Thank god for Matty and his ability to put up with me cause he's the one who had to deal with me after the fact, every single day. Every single person that tried to help, amazing.

Once again I have to be in about 80 places at once on Saturday night and I just don't know what I'll actually be able to make it to. I hate letting people down, especially the people I haven't seen in foreva-eva.

I'm being a big jerk about what I want the future to hold. I'm grabbing at straws in effort to quiet the things going on in my mind and I'm probably looking for answers in the wrong place as I usually do.

Lynds is a doll, my donkey in vegas cause one day i followed him off the bus and a year later she's trying to pimp him up for me. to get my mind off him and onto him.

If only I had a little more time in my life for the things I never get to. I spend my time on the ones I love which is important to me I just wish there were a few more hours in the day. And I was profficient at fixing ovens. Then Christine would have her cookies and I'd feel better.

love love love.

Current Mood: whoa
Current Music: some emily, some amy, some hank